Castiel and the Guinea Pig
by Dunnywater
Summary: After ressurecting 5 rabbits that were slaughted by witches, Cas becomes a little obsessed on the small animals. Okay; crappy summary. Kind of a crazy one shot. A tribute to my past guinea pig, may he RIP!


A/N: I came up with this for really only one reason – to make a tribute for my guinea pig Neo, who died last month. The rest of the story is a little nuts. This story is for you Neo; may you rest in piece and eat as many strawberries as you like.

So I hope you enjoy this and get a laugh out of it. And if you are going to be kind; please review!

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The brothers: Sam and Dean Winchester and their friendly neighbourhood angel Castiel, had just finished clearing out a witch's nest. It had been a large one – 20 witches is all, and it had taken a while to do.

The three present members of Team Free Will were walking around, collecting items that they didn't have, cursing items that were evil and heaping them into a bag for incineration. They had salted and burned half of the witches and they were planing to do the rest tonight under the cover of darkness, deep in the woods.

Sam was doing the majority of the sorting as Dean had gone to 'sort out' the witches' bedrooms – the nest was a sorority – while Castiel just kind of stood there, his head tilted, staring at limp, hanging, unfortunate figures.

He stood there eyes gazing over the poor creatures. He felt...pity. Then Dean came down.

Dean had a bag of his own gathered items of which Sam probably wouldn't want to know of. Then Dean saw the what Castiel had found.

"Sonofabitch. Can't these hags ever leave the poor bunnies alone!" Castiel's eyes swiveled to Dean's and the angel saw pity and a hint of sadness as well.

Without saying a word, the angel touched the first rabbit and it jump to life, thrashing around, scared out of it's mind.

"Shit!" Yelled Dean as he dropped his bag of items and rushed over to help the resurrected rabbit. After he freed the struggling animal he turned to Castiel. "Cas, really?"

Cas turned to Dean. "I saw the way you looked at them, I looked into your soul. You didn't want them to be dead; so I brought them back."

"For me?" Dean was a bit surprised.

"Yes." The angel put such deep meaning in his words that one word, that Dean decided he wanted all the rabbits back.

Sam happened to come in at that moment with a large empty box, unaware of the resurrection going on in the room. Sam stopped short when he saw his fearless brother holding onto a struggling, snow white bunny. "Uhhh, Dean?"

"Sam! Isn't this wonderful! Cas is bringing back all these poor bunnies." He motioned to the four other snow white rabbits pathetically hanging there.

Sam smiled and gave him the thumbs up saying "That's great." sarcastically. Dean motioned to the large empty box Sam was holding and plonked the first bunny in it.

Dean pointed to the first one. "His name is 'AC/DC'. This one here is 'Metallica'..." he said as he lowed the second resurrected bunny. "...this is one 'Iron Maiden'...this one 'Black Sabbath' and he's even white, haha." And then he got to the last one. Dean couldn't come up with a name for it, so after a great deal of silence, Castiel piked in.

"I think Misha is an honourable name for it." The brothers looked at him questioning. "I have heard it somewhere."

Dean shrugged and made a strange face. "Misha it is!"

**898 898 898 898 898 898 898 898**

The next morning the three set out in the Impala with the five, very much alive, bunnies bouncing around in the box on the back seat. Castiel had a protective arm on the box, ready to save it if need be.

They turned up at the local humane society and got out. Castiel carried the box carefully and steadily as they walked in. Dean was worried about leaving the rabbits there, he was scared that they would be put to sleep because nobody wanted them.

At the counter, a family of three – dad, mum and little girl – were crowding around it. "I am sorry, we don't have any bunnies in need of adoption at the moment." The little girl was trying not to cry, but she in a way was glad that there was no homeless animals.

The three waited in line and they heard the conversation. Dean decided that this family might like some of them. "Hey, umm, we have some bunnies here that we were going to surrender."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

The little girl rushed over to seem them. Castiel carefully placed the box on the counter and opened it. The five little bunnies were absolutely terrified, but after a few murmured words from the angel, the animals calmed down.

The dad held up the girl and she oooed over the cuteness. Then she pointed to one and said "I like that one!"

Castiel looked at the one she was referring to and said "that one has been named AC/DC."

"Do the rest have names?"

"Yes." Castiel stayed silent after that. He only continued after Dean thumped him and urged him to continue. He said each of the names.

"Wow" said the dad. "How do you tell them apart?" All five rabbits looked the same to him. They were all fluffy and white with large pink eyes and a pair of stunning ears. A little cotton tail jutted out from behind.

"I tell them apart by what they say. I can look into their souls and see the difference." Castiel said solemnly. The dad's eyes rose and he instinctively put a hand on his daughter's shoulder.

The dad saw that the shorter of the two other men slapped him quite hardly on the back of the head. The trench coated man said nothing and seemed unaware. The dad pulled his daughter back slightly.

Then the tallest one with that shaggy hair's phone rang. "Uhh, Dean, Cas, its Bobby, we need to go."

Dean sighed and said goodbye to each one and then told the family to enjoy whichever one they chose.

The party of three left, leaving the rabbits behind. Castiel could hear the girl say. "I think Misha is the cutest."

Dean suddenly darted back in and took a picture with his phone "so he could remember them by."

And the three left...

**898 898 898 898 898 898 898 898**

It had been many months since the rabbit rescuing and Sam and Dean had all but forgotten about them. Castiel hadn't. Castiel had often thought about them, wondering where they had ended up, what they were doing and whether or not they were asleep or eating. What were rabbits favourite food?

The brothers were sitting on a couch, watching "Dr. Sexy" as the sexy doctor threw away a syringe and yelling at an intern for injecting the wrong aphrodisiac into a sexy, but very young woman he secret loved. He promptly pushed the intern out of the window and turned around to find the young woman in bed with a comatose patient.

Dean laughed and threw popcorn at Sam. Sam turned around and punched Dean's bowl; making the popcorn fly everywhere.

The two then got themselves in an all out popcorn war; using chairs as shields. Then Dean got a huge three litre bottle of Coke ready to ambush Sam and tip it on him. As he got up to run, Castiel flew right into the middle of the war and unfortunately, Dean couldn't keep his balance and his bottle, so three litres of brown sugary drink ended up on the holy angel.

Castiel looked down at himself. His normally clean beige trenchcoat was a lot browner than when he left. His forehead creased in confusion as he came to look at Dean, Dean had never seen the angel more pissed.

Castiel walked towards the Winchester making himself as tall as possible, the man could only shrink back and apologise pathetically. "Look, I'm sorry dude. Can't you just make it magically dry clean it anyway?"

The angel kept coming. Then suddenly look at Dean in confusion. "Why are you backing away from me?" The angel's striking blue eyes changed from pissed to hurt.

"Because you were going to kill me?" Dean wasn't quite sure what to do. Sam hid behind the couch.

"Why would I kill you? I am only here to ask a question. My coat is cleaned by my grace"

Dean sighed. "Oh. Well why were you then looking at me as if I just burnt your pancakes?"

The angel's eyes turned back to confusion. "What are pancakes?"

"Never mind." Sighed Dean again.

"So, Cas, what did you want to ask?" Sam came out of hiding. Him, like Dean was covered in popcorn kernels. But Castiel didn't notice that.

"Yes, I do. What do rabbits eat?" He put as much sincerity into the question as he had, when asking about ways to stop Lucifer.

"Umm, they're herbivores. Lots of fruit and veggies."

"And weeds!" Offered Dean. "Why?"

"I have put a lot of thought into that answer, but no matter how many of the animals I observed, I could not tell. Thank you for that information." Then Castiel vanished with a ruffle of feathers and wind.

Sam and Dean just looked at each other for a few moments and had a silent conversation. Then Sam slowly reached for a bag of microwave popcorn and the battle continued!

**898 898 898 898 898 898 898 898**

It was Castiel's birthday; well probably not. But Dean had said that even an angel needed to celebrate their life! So he decided to throw him a surprise party...at Bobby's!

They were inviting many: Chuck, Crowley, Gabriel, Rufus, Patrick the warlock, Becky, Ellen, Joe, Cupid, Joshua and God; if he chose to show. Hell even Lucifer and Michael were invited!

But there was one problem; what would you give a fallen, rebellious angel who had less of a grasp of basic human interactions than most beings; supernatural or otherwise.

Then Dean had a brainwave. "Sam? I know what we can get Cas!"

"What?" The two had really been busting their guts to think of something...in fact everyone had.

"A rabbit! You know how he constantly goes on about rabbits? Well lets go get one."

The two headed off to the nearest petshop that happened to next door to the motel they were staying at. But they came out empty handed. Apparently there was only certain times of year you could adopt one.

So the two tried at a humane society.

They waited and then the desk person came back and told them that, no, there was no rabbits for adoption.

The two were a little crestfallen and they were told that there was no other shelters nearby. They were just about to leave, when a group of three men came in with a large box. Dean looked at Sam. "No". They said together as they were hit by a wave of deja vu and couldn't believe themselves when the man carrying the box was even wearing a trenchcoat.

They ran over too see what was in the box.

**898 898 898 898 898 898 898 898**

Castiel had been quite contentedly meditating on the Sydney Oprah House in Sydney, Australia when he got a ring from Sam about a life or death situation where Lucifer and Michael were present. Castiel flew over as quickly as possible, ready to do some serious smiting. He got out his special angel killing dagger thing and flew into Bobby's living room ready for action.

"SURPRISE!" Came the yell as people jumped out and cheered at him and flashed cameras at him.

The angel thought it was a battle cry and leaped at Lucifer to smite him, until a click of Gabriel's fingers sent his dagger away, and Cupid tackled him in a hug until Dean managed to explain to him what was going on.

Once he knew he calmed down. No; there was nothing wrong with the collection of angels, demons, hunters and other assorted weirdos. No God though. But everyone seemed to be doing a very good job at not killing each other. Michael and Lucifer kept eying each other – but nothing happened.

After cake and party games, in which Lucifer won "Pin the Tail on the Donkey", Gabriel won "Pass the Parcel" and Michael "Dead Fish" and Bobby somehow won the "Three Legged Race" they argued about who cheated in what game until Dean decided to cool the party down by calling present time!

Everyone got excited except, maybe Castiel, who kept a straight face while competing in everything. But his big blue eyes widened when he heard squeaking.

Dean wheeled out a large cage and sitting inside it was a little animal.

Castiel's head tilted to the side. What was this strange animal. It wasn't a rabbit. Dean must have read his thoughts "It's called a guinea pig. They are rodents and are pretty easy to look after. I tried to get you a rabbit, and I swear there are no more rabbits in this country!, but you take care of guinea pigs in pretty much the same way as rabbits.

Castiel came forward to pick up the male guinea pig. It had black and ginger stripes on it's back, a black face and ears, but with a white strip down it's face. It had multicoloured legs.

"I shall call you Neo." Nobody understood why. So the angel turned to them. "From a different continent I heard a girl pray that her beloved guinea pig, called Neo, would be looked after, after he died. And I will. I will look after Neo; he is safe with me. I knew his path would cross mine; but not in this way." Castiel smiled contentedly while the little pig sat happily in his hands.

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A/N:I hope you liked it. And I really have prayed for my Neo. He was the most special guinea pig in the world, and I am glad to have looked after him in his short two year life. Since then I have got a female pig to be Spencer's companion as Spencer was Neo's cagemate. What prompt me to write this was, that Tess has given me a litter of two of the cutest pigs I have ever seen. Don't worry; we're getting Spencer fixed.

This was what you might call as a parody, or a crack!fic but I decided I might as well going a little crazy. Sorry if everyone was a little OOC or if this was predictable.

Oh and the paragraph organisers are annoying!


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